The Redinator Strikes Again!

Uneventful weekend so far. Minus today.
So it started out as normal. Just Trinity, Ulric, and me, walking through a semi-busy downtownish area, just the three of us, when the most (okay not the most) random thing happened. I hear the powerful thumping of a bass, no doubt generated by subwoofers, coming from behind me. I didn’t think much about it, except that whoever it was should turn their blaring music down a few notches.
And then a big pickup truck, dull, dented, and a little rusty, pulls up beside us, the source of the noise.
Two seconds before I looked, I calculated the possibilities of where this was going and who was in that truck. It took less than half that time to place my best bet, and then I looked.
Shredder. I so just won.
All three of us let out an internal groan of “Oi Vay” (in a nutshell, meaning “oh brother”) and turned to see what was brewing.
Acting as though my day just had gotten duller, I looked at the big hulking machine, taking everything in. In the driver’s seat was Shredder, and in shotgun was his little blonde prostitute, Clarissa, who was everything a High School guy could wish for. Blonde, stupid, big ass, size D boobs, perfect petite figure, and tons of makeup. And of course to top it all off, a slutty outfit. All of Shredder’s cohorts were stuck in the truck’s back. As in way back, in the place where you’re not supposed to sit.
“Hey b****es!!!” he called, swearing colorfully. “Where de heck are you goin’?!?”
“Goin’” as in “going” as in “what place are we walking to”?
“Pizza,” said Trinity in a bored tone of voice. At that time, I was trying to find the logic in installing beaucoup expensive subwoofers in a crappy Junker. Couldn’t find it.
“That’s what you think!” said Shredder. “Think you can beat my girl? Think you can f***ing take me on?!?”
What did we ever do to you?!?
Um, well I socked him in the stomach, and Trinity did give Shredder’s girl a big walloping bruise on the arm. But that was once, and, as the saying goes, he started it!
Shredder yanked the clutch into “parked”, with force I would expect to snap it, and got out of the truck.
“I just wanted pizza!!!” cried Ulric. “And look what I get!!!” He cracked his knuckles, grinning. “All three! It must be my lucky day!!!” It took me a little to figure out “all three”. But I concluded pizza, a challenging skirmish, and Clarissa (to be exact, Clarissa’s boobs and butt).
Okay then…
But pandemonium followed Shredder, and we launched into action.
We hit the ground running.
The best way to not reveal yourself when you’re an under-cover mutant is to take the most logical and simplest action. An action a human would most likely take when they are faced with a situation like this.
Part two of that is “just don’t get involved with the whole thing.”
We ducked into an alley, thinking it would lead though.
It didn’t.
Crap.
Plan B: Try to talk our way out.
Shredder and his gang had us cornered, and I thought plan B at this point was a perfectly good waste of time. But it was worth a shot.
Suddenly Clarissa comes around, squealing, “Billy! Billy, wait for me!!!” moving in a way that couldn’t be running and couldn’t be jogging. A jogging-strut combo? She made a whiny girly noise, seeing as things were going to get messy. She pressed herself against the wall, like she was a damsel in distress, looking as helpless as anything.
Wow. I’m glad I’m not like that. Let alone even human.
So Shredder looms over me like Trinity does sometimes, again another person who thinks that height intimidates me, and leers.
I could’ve socked him again. I could’ve snapped my leg at his balls. I could’ve given him a jaw grinding upper-cut. I didn’t. It was words that were going to have to get us out of this one.
“Before anything else,” I said. “We need to discuss this.”
“There ain’t anything to discuss,” said Shredder. “You’re dead meat.”
“We really don’t want to fight you,” I said, being choosy about my words. I saw from my peripheral vision that Trinity was giving me these looks. I didn’t catch what they meant though. Shredder took a step forward, making us take a step back. We were against the wall, with Shredder and his gang surrounding us.
“What if we pay you?” I said.
“I said you’re dead meat!” said Shredder, meaning no.
“Can’t we just talk this over a nice pepperoni pizza!?!” I said, losing patience.
That did it.
Shredder aimed at my head, I ducked, and his fist nearly collided with the wall. I screwed plan B and went with my natural instincts. Actions speak louder than words, and I needed to get my message across. Trinity swung at him and Ulric attacked the others ferociously. I sprung up and followed example. It was not a pretty scene. Shredder was full of burning revenge, and his main targets were Trinity and me.
While smacking a chump in the balls, I heard a squeal. Clarissa. Looking, I saw Ulric beside her.
It doesn’t take brains to know what a recreation of Wolverine does to sluts like her. I managed to get over there, and rescue the girl from that wolf. I grabbed the back of Ulric’s sweatshirt jacket, and literally toss him into the dog-pile of flailing arms and legs, which only got doggier.
Trinity was doing okay, and Ulric was figuratively going for the jugular on some. I wasn’t worried about how we would turn out. I was worried about the police. Surely a big honking truck parked on the curb with subwoofers blasting out bad music would catch some attention. No doubt they would go poking around and find a street-fight taking place in an alley.
So we knocked them all out. Even Clarissa, who would have probably had a panic attack if we kept her conscious.
So we brushed the dirt off our clothes, and straightened them out, and walked out of the alley as if nothing happened. We hurried to the pizza place, saying nothing at all about the fight, and just acting like normal teens. Talking about school, how it stinks, about other things, yadda, yadda…All the while horking down a pepperoni pizza was a stuffed cheese crust (yum!).
When we were walking back to Jalana’s (a little while later, having stopped at a gaming store for the sake of making Ulric shut-up) we saw that the police did come, and they were talking to Shredder, who was looking pissed off. He had a huge bump on his head, compliments to Ulric. Suddenly he pointed to us.
“There they are!!!” he cried. “Them little f***ers over there!!!” The police turned to us. I could see one of them wearing a smile. Sure. It’s entirely believable that three high school freshmen had punched up a gang of rough, muscular seniors without getting hit themselves. Entirely believable.
But they did question us. We put on the “clueless, innocent teens” act, and answered the questions as though we weren’t involved in it at all. I admit that Ulric, who is not smart in some areas, does a good job of playing “innocent”. He can do this whole in-my-eyes-reflect-innocence thing, looking like he was not one to get involved with anything bad. So you’d think you’re dealing with an innocent, shy, cute fifteen-year-old guy instead of a perverted, rude, selfish wolf freak.
Even Trinity, who can fool anyone into thinking she’s a young-looking twenty-year-old, could raise her eyebrows and look as though this was not something that she would ever come across.
And I myself admit my small innocent appearance is deceiving on its own. And it didn’t take much to convince the police that we did not do anything. So they let us go.
Once we had gone a few blocks, we stopped and cracked up. Not only did we burn off the potential energy that we had cooped up inside of us, Shredder got busted for violence.

-Red